Its hard to pack 4 weeks of ridiculousness into a handful of blog posts. Mostly because I was usually too tired, drunk, or hungover to make more posts. There was a ton of funny, silly, interesting, or otherwise entertaining things I never got to show or talk about, so I figured i’d pack them all up into one final post. Like to hear it? Here it go…
FORGET SAVING BEST FOR LAST, BEST GOES FIRST
This was my first week in Shanghai, at Club Hollywood afterhours.. This dude was riding the struggle bus HARD. Talk about not feeling your face, this dude couldn’t feel his entire life right now. Doing everything he could to hold it together, thank goodness for that concrete post.
2 CLUBS, FREE COVER + ALL YOU CAN DRINK FOR 100RBM ($16 USD)
This could NEVER go down in the States. People would die, one way or another. This really happened though, and apparently they have nights like this all over the city every night of the week. We didn’t actually go to the clubs but we were outside when the club got out and holy smokes, I’ve never seen so many girls being carried out by their friends, or puking their brains out on the sidewalk. It was pretty gross actually.
In my tasteless nature I got a good shot of 3 dudes trying to carry this girl out but they couldn’t even pick her up. Just 85lbs of dead poisoned weight.
THE WET MARKET – WHERE BIRDS GO TO GET MURKED
The wet market is where the Chinese go to get fresh fruits, vegetables, meats, etc, all for dirt cheap. Among those fresh foods are cages upon cages of live chickens, ducks, and other innocent birds. They all just kind of hang out like they’re at the city park, not knowing that at some point in the day they’re gonna get their throat cut and insides ripped out for the next customer. It actually all goes down right in front of them and they just have no idea.. Poor little buggers.
YOU THINK YOUR LAUNDRY SUCKS? SHUT YOUR SPOILED MOUTH.
Its not even that dryers are uber expensive in China, they just don’t really have them. And the few that do are tiny and worthless Like you could MAYBE dry your socks in one of them and that’s about it. So all over the streets you’ll see people’s underwear, bed linens, and every other garment hanging on just about anything.
As you can imagine laundry day is completely dependent on the weather, so the first nice day after a rain, extreme cold, or extreme heat is guaranteed laundry day for errrrybody.
Me being the spoiled American that I am, I stuck to dry cleaning. I first posted about a spot that gift wrapped your clothes upon return, well I found another place that individually bags your clothes like they’re brand spanking new! Nothing feels better than putting on a crispy tee you bust out of a plastic bag every single day. Welcome to the good life.
WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT OSCILLATING REAR CLEANSING? o_O
While we’re on the topic of excessive luxury… It was quite a shock to run into this in one of the Shanghai bathrooms, especially considering how scary the normal bathrooms are (i.e. hole in the floor with no toilet paper). I didn’t give this thing a full whirl but it did have a heated toilet seat, and this nice set of controls on the side. Talk about next level clean for your lower half..
WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT iPHONE MINI DOE?
I really almost bought this, and kinda mad that I didn’t looking back. Yes its a real phone and it actually works.
Funny they would align Obama with one of the most controversial dictators in world history, but considering how highly regarded Mao still is in China, I think they meant this in a good way..?
SHANGHAI FUN FACTS
This puts in perspective just how massive Shanghai really is:
BOWLING? YOU DON’T WANT NONE.
I’m the Justin Bieber of this bowling shit, son!
All in all it was an incredible trip and experience. I got a ton of dope footage and will be compiling another “Lost in Shanghai” video when I get some time. Thanks to the 5 people who read my blog posts, hope you enjoyed them!